Say It With Flowers
by The Kettle Witch
Summary: Fic written for the Valentine's story prompt: Ben Solo hates Valentine's day, and he is a floral delivery person and delivers flowers to Rey and falls HARD…


**Thank you, Amy for the Valentine's story prompt on Twitter. It isn't exactly what you asked for but I hope it's close enough. Apologies in advance for the gratuitous 80s angst-ridden song mentions!**

* * *

Ben Solo hated Valentine's Day. After a day of delivering expensive flower arrangements across the city to lots of excited women and a few emotional guys, he was ready to call it quits. He slammed his hands down hard on the steering wheel in frustration at getting stuck in the rush hour traffic. The smell of roses hung in the air and Ben let out a violent sneeze. To his knowledge, he didn't have any allergies to flora or fauna. It had to be psychosomatic, he reasoned, as he sprayed the windshield for a second time.

It wasn't that Ben particularly disliked being the delivery driver for Get A Bloom. On days that weren't Valentine's, there were certainly much worse jobs. It had been an adjustment to get used to people being so pleased to see him. But he found it a pleasant change to give people something to smile about that wouldn't come back to bite them in the ass later down the line. Ben couldn't deny it was a world away from his previous career as a stockbroker. But after everything that had happened in the past few years, he saw the advantages in embracing a simpler life. He would never be able to make amends for the lives ruined by the fraudulent actions of First Order Holdings, not even after the time he'd served in jail. However, it did feel like a step in the right direction.

The delivery van had become his armour against the outside world. Ben would drive around all day only having to leave his little sanctuary to knock on doors. And who didn't love receiving a beautiful bouquet? Over the months, he had begun to appreciate the effort Amilyn Holdo put into her floral arrangements, even going so far as to browse through an illustrated guide to the language of flowers at his local second-hand bookstore. It had been replaced on the shelf unpurchased, but Ben went back to buy it at a later date. He had never been good with words and always seemed to say the wrong thing. At least now he had another means of expression to compensate for his verbal faux pas.

The practice seemed whimsical to him at first, but his inner history buff had been drawn into discovering more about it. Ben loved to read and gather information, if only for his own amusement. When he found out the tradition of attributing meaning to flowers stretched back thousands of years and the correct term for it was Floriography, he embraced his burgeoning interest in the subject like a scholar. Shakespeare had used the language of flowers in many of his works. Perhaps most notably in Hamlet, where the tragic Ophelia explains the symbolic meaning of pansies, rosemary, fennel, columbine, rue, daisy and violets before she drowns. Ben pictured her with the face of his own lost love, submerged in water and surrounded by her floral epitaph.

He had been distracting himself from the traffic by switching through radio stations when the line of cars ahead started to move. Unfortunately, he'd landed on one playing anti-Valentine's Day songs. The last thing Ben needed was Sting warbling over and over about how lonely he was. On the verge of hitting the tuning button, he paused when the Sinead O'Connor version of Nothing Compares 2 U came on and he let it play. Every Day Hurts by Sad Cafe almost had him reaching for the off switch. But when Cher belted out If I Could Turn Back Time, Ben grudgingly began singing along with her. He felt the regret expressed in the lyrics deep in his bones. But for him, he knew it was already too late.

It was almost six when he pulled up outside Get A Bloom. He stopped in his tracks on the way to the door as the sound of his mother's cackling laugh rang through the glass. When he peered in through the window, he could see her at the counter with her assistant Larma D'Acy and Amilyn. Leia Organa and Amilyn Holdo has been friends since their teens and his mother had turned to her oldest friend when her jailbird son needed a job. Ben had protested at first, determined to find his own way after losing it so spectacularly. But his mother never took no for an answer and a trial period of a month had turned into four and counting.

"It makes me nervous when the three of you get together," Ben said as he stepped into the shop. "What are you plotting this time?"

"Hey, honey," Leia opened her arms to him as he swooped down to kiss her cheek. "I just thought I'd call in to see how you're holding up."

"I'm fine, mom," he said in a harsher tone than he intended.

Leia gave him one of her 'don't bullshit a bullshitter' looks. "I know Valentine's isn't exactly your favourite date on the calendar. I was going to ask if you wanted to come have dinner with me, as we're both single sad sacks, but a last minute order came in."

Ben sighed in dismay as Amilyn went into the back of the shop and returned with a artfully arranged bouquet of red roses (love and passion), red carnations (admiration, my heart aches for you), white lilies (It's heavenly to be with you) and daisies (loyal love). "I hope you added on an extra charge to whoever placed that order for saving their ass at the eleventh hour," he grumbled.

The address would have to be right across the city, he silently fumed as his mother handed him the scribbled note.

"If you want to come over later for takeout, lots of wine, and Netflix's finest you're more than welcome, honey," Leia said as he grabbed the bouquet and headed for the door. "You shouldn't be alone today of all days."

"Thanks, mom, but I'm OK, really." Ben hoped his mother wouldn't push the issue and was grateful when she gave a resigned nod.

"Take care on the roads and call me more often," she gently chided as they said their farewells.

The traffic was even worse as Ben made his way downtown. He saw romantic displays in store windows and people on the streets with heart-shaped balloons. All they succeeded in doing was reminding him of what he'd lost.

Ben hadn't always hated Valentine's Day. If he was honest, he had no strong feelings about it one way or the other until three years ago. He wasn't the most popular boy in high school but he had received one or two cards from females other than his mother. But February 14th had doomed itself forever in his eyes when it became the date he parted ways with the love of his life. All his misery got channeled into it. In the cold light of day, Ben could admit his hatred for Valentine's Day was irrational; the timing had been coincidental at worst. He had just been sentenced to five years in prison and he refused to ask his girlfriend to wait for him. She had already spent enough of her life waiting.

Rey Nemo was the only woman he'd ever loved or would ever love. There was no doubt in his mind about that. She still owned him body and soul whether she wanted to or not. On their first meeting, Ben had unintentionally scared her half to death arriving at his father's workshop in his black motorcycle leathers and custom-made helmet. But he'd soon discovered, to his delight, she was no shrinking violet. At first, they were like night and day, taking opposing sides on everything. Rey made Ben feel alive for the first time in a long while and she was similarly drawn to him. On the surface, it might have appeared they had nothing in common. But underneath, they made each other's broken pieces whole again. With Rey by his side, he knew he could conquer the world. All he could do, in the end, was let her go

Ben went to work for Snoke straight out of college against the wishes of his family. His uncle, Luke Skywalker, had been particularly disapproving of the career path he'd chosen. But Ben didn't hold his uncle's judgement in high regard when it came to business. Luke had taken the company founded by his father Anakin Skywalker and run it close to bankruptcy. He had been determined to show ethical investments could be just as profitable as those with no moral compass. However, Luke chose to gamble on a green fuel enterprise in opposition to the advice of his nephew, which then proceeded to blow up in his face.

When Ben joined them at Mr. Snoke's invitation, First Order Holdings appeared to be everything Skywalker Investments wasn't. He had been ambitious and eager to make his mark. In the process of building his career, he had been willing to turn a blind eye to some of the more unsavoury aspects of the job. If some of the deals weren't entirely above board, he didn't challenge them if they brought results. Ben knew vulnerable clients had been intentionally led into risky investments. He made lots of money and helped push First Order Holdings to record profits. And it was he that succeeded in replacing Snoke as CEO when the old man died at his desk. It wasn't until after he met Rey that Ben began to examine his conscience.

He knew he couldn't expose the insider trading at First Order Holdings without implicating himself and his career had already cost him so much. At Rey's urging, he had taken tentative steps towards reconciling with his estranged family but things had never been great between Ben and his father. Both of them were always putting their foot in it with the other. Han Solo remained stubborn to the end, keeping his terminal cancer diagnosis to himself until all his son had left was bitterness and regrets. On his release from prison, Ben had gone to visit his father's grave seeking some kind of peace. He had made a recent return with his new found knowledge of flower meanings to plant purple hyacinths for forgiveness.

When it came to his mother and uncle, Luke had been slow to forgive him and Leia had almost given up hope of him ever seeing the light. But Ben had both of them on his side after he brought down First Order Holdings. The man who replaced him as CEO, Armitage Hux, had fled the country to escape arrest. If it wasn't for his mother and her impressive sphere of influence as a philanthropist and retired senator, he would have received more than a five year prison sentence, of which he served less than three. He hadn't wanted his mother to intercede but she did anyway. Ben knew he'd still got off lightly, despite his incarceration and having his assets seized and sold off as part of the compensation package awarded to the clients swindled by First Order.

It wasn't the loss of his freedom, career, or his money that cut Ben to the quick. It was forcing himself to say goodbye to the reason he could look in a mirror without shame for the first time in years. Rey was his everything but holding on to her would have been the most selfish thing he could ever do — and that was up against some stiff competition. She had Maz and Chewie, old friends of his parents who'd pretty much adopted her as their own. And she had her friends, Finn, Rose, and Kaydel. Rey didn't need him.

There was a ten year age gap between them. Ben was thirty and in the midst of dealing with almost a decade of bad mistakes. Rey was twenty, studying for a degree in engineering, and with her whole life ahead of her. She had already been through so much after being abandoned by her alcoholic parents at the age of six. As much as Ben loved her, he knew it would be unfair to expect her to wait for him while he served out his sentence. Rey deserved to enjoy her life at college to the full, get her degree, go travelling with her friends, and do all the things a young woman of her age should do. It had broken Ben's heart when she'd pleaded with him not to go that way and to, at the very least, let her visit him in prison. But, for her own good, he had stood firm.

Three years ago to the day was the last time he saw her. He knew his mother kept in touch with her but he didn't ask for news and she didn't tell him anything. As miserable as he was, Ben knew Rey was better off without him. He sighed at the slow-moving traffic ahead of him and turned the radio on to distract him from his sad memories.

 _This one goes out to all those who've loved and lost…_

He turned up the volume as All Out Of Love by Air Supply started playing.

It took another half hour of wallowing in his own personal pity party until Ben arrived at the address he'd been given. Against All Odds by Phil Collins was fading out as he pulled up to the sidewalk. The apartment complex was in a less-fashionable part of the city but it was nicer than the place he was currently renting. He grabbed the bouquet and made his way up the stairs to an apartment on the third floor. The card had been sealed in an envelope with no name written on it and Ben could only hope he gave the flowers to the right person. He knocked and waited. When the door opened, his heart stopped.

* * *

 _"Dont be angry."_

Ben wasn't entirely sure what happened after Rey opened the door to her apartment. By the time he gathered his wits, he was sat at her kitchen table staring at the cup of tea she'd poured for him.

"Don't be angry," she repeated appearing unperturbed by the turn of events as she picked up the bouquet and went over to the sink.

He had no right to be mad because another man had sent her flowers. It was Valentine's Day after all and it gave him another excuse to hate it. Rey deserved to be showered with gifts every day of the year. He wasn't angry, only sad she was no longer his to spoil.

"Ben?"

She had put the flowers into a big vase which she brought over to set on the centre of the table. The card was in her hand as she took a seat beside him.

Rey was more beautiful than ever and it brought a lump to his throat, he could feel tears stinging at his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "I only had the address. If I'd known — I hope it hasn't spoilt anything for you. Your boyfriend wasn't to know who'd be delivering your bouquet."

She frowned and her calm exterior began to crumble. "Oh Ben, I think you'd better read the card," she said to his bewilderment.

He took it from her with trepidation, not wanting to read another man's declaration of love. His eyes widened and his heart began to pound in his chest as he recognised his mother's handwriting…

 _ **Not all roses are red,**_

 _ **Violets aren't really blue,**_

 _ **Here's my idiot son,**_

 _ **Don't do anything I wouldn't do! ;)**_

 _ **Leia x**_

"I —," His mother had pulled some stunts before and interfered when he'd begged her not to but this took the cake. "Rey, I'm so sorry, I don't know what she was thinking," he apologised in a breathless rush.

She broke into one of her toothy grins.

Ben grew even more confused but, gods, he'd missed seeing her smile like that.

"She was thinking it's been three long years and we have a lot of catching up to do," Rey laughed as she reached for his hand.

He jumped out of his seat before her fingers made contact with his. "You knew about this?" he questioned the pieces finally falling into place. _Don't be angry..._

"Of course, I did." Rey stood up her expression fierce. "You hurt me, Ben. But I waited three years for you anyway because I love you. It was my choice to make and I don't regret it because you're here now."

He was aghast. "I wanted you to have the whole world. Why would you settle for this — for me?"

"I'm not settling for anything," Rey said her temper rising. "I got my degree and I have a fantastic job in environmental engineering. I took long road trips with Finn, Rose and Kaydel, we travelled right across the country and back again. I even got to go to Paris after I graduated, thanks to Maz and Chewie."

"You didn't meet anyone else?" Ben had no right to ask and he was afraid to hear her answer, but he had to know.

Her cheeks turned pink. "I kissed a couple of guys —," she rushed to explain when she saw his look of sad resignation. "I was mad at you the first time it happened. Kaydel set me up with a guy she knew from her English Lit classes. He was nice and he liked Jane Austen. But kissing him felt all wrong and I stopped it before things could go any further. The second time was in Paris. I went to the Louvre and I saw this tall, dark-haired man looking at a Caravaggio. He reminded me of you. But he wasn't you so that was an end to that."

"Rey, I'm so sorry," Ben cried falling to his knees before her. "You shouldn't have waited for me. I'm a thirty-three year-old flower shop delivery guy with no money, a crummy rented apartment and more issues than Vogue - Although, that should technically be more issues than Harper's. It launched in 1850 and is the longest running monthly magazine in the US. Vogue wasn't published until 1892."

His mother was right, he had been a total idiot. He didn't deserve to be forgiven or to have her love. But when he dared to meet her gaze, Rey had a fond expression on her face.

She got down on her knees too and rested her head against his shoulder. "How could I not wait for you?" She nuzzled into his neck. "What other man could dazzle me with the history of American print publishing?"

Ben gave a sigh of defeat and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you so much," he said his face wet with tears.

"Take me to bed," Rey demanded in between pressing insistent kisses to his throat.

She didn't have to ask him twice. Ben was on his feet with her in his arms before she could catch her breath.

"Remind me to thank my mom for the bouquet," he said before capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

His mother had obviously known exactly what he wanted to tell Rey in the language of flowers; I love you loyally, passionately and I admire you so much. My heart aches for you and being with you is heavenly. Ben would get his mom pink roses to express his gratitude.


End file.
